Things To Know About Me 2.0

Here's a list of more things that you need to know about me:
1) I always swallow chewing gum out of habit.
2) I never served in Vietnam, Afghanistan, Iraq, nor Libya, but the war inside my head.
3) I haven't any children (nor was I ever married).
4) I'm always serious about what others find as ridiculous.
5) I'm a cosmopolitan thinker (esp., one who puts America first).
6) I always scream frantically when things go terribly, horribly wrong.
7) I neither drink nor smoke.
8) I used to pretend the bouillon as "Jekyll & Hyde" potion (as seen in cartoons).
9) I never lied (except for the one time when I lied to Ms. Claucherty (my old high-school teacher) about me being from Detroit, Michigan, but actually, I was born right here in Mansfield, Ohio).
10) I do have a negative attitude towards the way things are going in modern society.
11) I used to masturbate to Joan Lunden's (from "Good Morning America") feet on the edition of TV Guide.
12) I used to be morbidly obese when I was in Malabar Middle School.
13) At the basketball playoff, I did talk to women (who were actually people's mothers) about their feet, but Mrs. Collard (my middle-school teacher) kept on whispering in my ear until she stated out loud that those were people's mothers.
14) In middle school, I used to make sexual comments about the female staff's feet.
15) I used to go out with my father (Eddie Wayne Luster) to the Ritz Nite Club (right here in Mansfield, Ohio) after school (esp., Woodland Elementary School).
16) Back then, I didn't have a vivid-enough imagination when I was in the 2nd grade, but years later (until the year 2000), it grew phenomenally.
17) I have hypoalbuminaemia (a severe protein deficiency).
18) I'm quite a bit of a "space cadet" from time to time.
19) I like Rick Astley's "Never Gonna Give You Up" (a 1987 pop-song).
20) I used to wet the bed in my teenage years.
21) I'm a big fan of Bon Jovi, the Beatles, Michael Jackson, and Samantha Fox.
22) I made inappropriate comments about women's feet at the First Assembly of God (at 1000 McPherson Street).
23) My old house (418 St. Clair Street) got incinerated from the inside out due to an electrical fire.
24) I publicly masturbated at my grandfather's (Edgar Pueblo Luster) house (541 Parry Avenue), but he told me "No".
25) I masturbated in front of my mother (Dorothy "Dottie" Anne-Marie Luster), but she shouted "STOP PLAYING WITH YOURSELF!!!!". That's rather embarrassing for the life of me.
26) I played at E-City (with Ms. Claucherty's class) (before it became the Mt. Vernon Nazarene Bible University).
27) One of my favourite restaurants is McDonald's.
28) I like koalas, platypi, octopi, penguins, ducks, and moose.
29) I'm enthused with Japanese pop-culture (I'm a weeaboo).
30) My 2nd middle-school bus driver (Elida) seems like a really nice lady, but she's from Brazil.
31) I love to reminisce about the bad times as well as the good.